It's a struggle
Thursday, July 21, 2016
I think I never will be succesful. It hurt me a lot, and it's difficult.
Why everything ever goes right for me ?
Why my friends who did't even try hard always get what I WANT.
I literally hate my life and that's it.
And I hate my self for not being confident enough on everything I do , for ALWAYS scared with others judgement, for ALWAYS failing, for giving up .
Why am I always the underdog, the one who did not have even one single talent , the one who can't do anything and the one who ALWAYS lack of everything.
I can't act , I can't give a speech , I can't make good excellent poem and essays , I can't sing , I'm not even close to brilliant , I can't sold stuff , WHY MEEEE ???
// hoping that i'll end this phase of life quickly so I can look back and be proud on what i've achieved and fight .
Saturday, April 2, 2016
I ask Allah and finally Allah answered my question.
He gave me the best first impression and I'm amazed .
But today, it's all gone .
And i'm still hoping its not true . bye 💔
I need to learn to be thankful
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
So, these day I've been soooooooo into youtube and whatsnot yeah,
I just watch random stuff here and there from this channel to that channel .
The most interesting video for me is room tour video WHICH make me feel like
- what have I done to mylife
- Why can't I get a life like that
- I'm 20 and have no achievement
- Why can't I just be thankful ?
These day i've been thinking like lots of thing. i keep wanting to have a better life , live in my dream kinda life whatsoever and hello I know im not being thankful and I'm pretty much disapointed with my self to do so .
As I were scrolling my instagram timeline, aduhh tercocok cocok hatiku, like I look at my friends and their life is like 20 times better than mine and some of them even make me feel so jealous. Like I wanna be like them but I just can't .
People might say kalau jeles sangat, why don't you just do what they do also lah...
Lol easy to say lah.. U know I'm totally someone who CARES A LOT to what people said to me .. I hope I can stop care whyyy .
Should just be happy with my life now .
Okay. I'm happy and thankful.